TED: I wish I hadn’t Seen the Trailer; Had Rented Paul Instead
Let’s call a spade a spade: TED is Seth MacFarlane’s first real movie (co-written, produced, directed, and starring) and as much as you want it to work, it just falls a little flat. The idea of having a little animated guy in the real world and have him smoke weed and be hilariously cool was done in 2011, and while aliens aren’t exactly teddy bears, 2011’s Paul by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost far outworks Ted.
Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, and MacFarlane are charming and committed and relatable - nothing to hate about their erformances. The parade of talents from the Family Guy Universe (Patrick Warburton, Mike Henry, Alex Borstein, etc.) yield solid laughs, plus they give you the added pleasure of muttering, “ah I know that fucker” to yourself. Watching this film gives you a great tour of Boston (was Ted sponsored by the Mass Tourism Dept.?) as well as a disturbingly accurate definition of Boston girls (SPOILER) and a Quincy Joke for the ages that unfortunately, will go over the head of everyone outside of 128. There are plenty of chuckles, but you’ve already seen all the good jokes in the trailer and you’re really just left waiting the whole time for the movie to be great. Ted drops a few heartfelt knowledge bombs on you (“I need a man not a little boy with a Teddy Bear”) but fails to live up to expectations and really just worries you about future MacFarlane films.
Long story short: Ted is just good, and certainly not better then an average episode of Family Guy. 6/10