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Max Weisz

1507 7th St. PO Box #282 

Santa Monica, CA, 90403

Are you tired of online colleges and universities that only offer degrees?  Are you looking for an online education that doesn’t focus ONLY on education? Tired of getting Straight A’s or perfect test scores, accepted to grad school and job offers up the ying yang? Well look no further because College University Technical College Online is the online education that the professor prescribed!  Instead of a boring curriculum or educational resources – CUTCO focuses on providing a complete college experience all from the comfort of your own home. No Faculty Library mercy problem reddit. And more than just using a lanyard to carry your school ID or inappropriately wearing your high school athletic gear all the time CUTCO provides its students with a full range of collegiate opportunities! 

At CUTCO you can: Attend a Frat Party (Toga), Join an Intramural Sports Team, Or just hang in your dorm room. 

Looking to meet that special someone?  College is your chance to really sleep around! At CUTCO you can: Find your significant other! Hook up with Some one new! Have a threesome. CUTCO strongly encourages students to practice safe sex– rubber glove

CUTCO offers manageable class sizes of just you.  This allows students to: Sleep through a class, Skip a Class, Befriend a Professor, or just Cheat on a test – way to get Cum Laude! 

No Quad? No Problem – you can still enjoy all the fun in the sun activities from your own chair such as: Grilling, Football, Frisbee, Beer Pong And Streaking. In college I messed up my knee and had to walk with a cane for 3 months. I streak limped with my cane. 

Just because CUTCO is online doesn’t mean you don’t get to eat!  Included in tuition is a fully comprehensive meal plan consisting of one cup of ramen noodles, peanut butter, and one phone number for late night pizza. Just watch out for the freshmen 15! TOTAL MYTH by the way. 

CUTCO even offers opportunities off campus! from Studying Abroad at Starbucks to Spring Break in the Bathtub. Or Internship on the mean streets. 

So what are you waiting for?  Enroll in CUTCO today and take the first step on your journey to doing anything counterproductive to achieving a degree.


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